Still

Still after 9 months have passed, those heart wrenching images get to me. And still, clear as crystal, I can recall the day it happened.
Chatter about an event in Japan filled the train cart I was riding to school that morning. It was not until one of my friends rushed to me and asked if I had heard about the earthquake that I found out what had actually occurred. I said no I hadn't and he told me to look it up. My heart sank the moment I read the news. I kept reading and reading, and with each passing word my heart sank further. Then upon rushing into my first period class my teacher saw the look on my face and asked me if I had heard what happened, but she could already tell I had. My teacher, my friend and I huddled around a computer and watched the live feed of NHK as the tsunami overtook the shore. Dread and despair filled my body. I became antsy. For the rest of my day I said nothing, did nothing. When I got home, tears flowed from my eyes as images and videos appeared on my computer screen. It was nowhere near the terror or despair that so many went through, but it was an important event in my heart and in my mind. Keep praying for Japan. がんばって日本。

1

It seems everyday I make impossible wishes and these impossible wishes seem to consume me
lately. They make everything worse for me; they create self-esteem issues, they cause me to sink into misery and feel disconnected from not only those around me, but also myself. I try and be positive and think that if I stay positive, these wishes won't control me.
Sadly, it seems optimism can only fight the battle so much on its own. I am the opposing side, outnumbered and weak, and these thoughts are the far stronger, by number and emotional strength, foe. Maybe, and hopefully, good will prevail as it does in most cliche stories, but then again; this is life, not a fanatical tale. So who shall win? I am not sure.